Uponnothing.co.uk

Courtesy of The Devil’s Kitchen comes some great lines from this year’s fringe, including:

There were some fat kids at my school. One girl had to get cut out of a hula hoop.
Alan Carr

Growing up it was difficult for me to chat up teenage girls. Now I’m 35, it’s a little uncomfortable.
Will Smith

They say the Meek shall inherit the Earth but don’t worry, we’ll just beat the hell out of them and get it back again.
Howard Read

If a child dies every time Bono clicks his fingers then maybe he should stop clicking.
Colin & Fergus

All of the call centres in Scotland are being outsourced to India. Bloody foreigners - staying over there, taking our jobs…
Bruce Morton

Read the full list here…