Blair Speak: Iran
The Iranian President has said that Iran wanted Israel ‘wiped off the map’ (cue psychotic rant from Melanie Philips about poor, pick-upon, innocent Israel: ‘It’s all an anti-Jewish conspiracy, everyone in the world is a secret Nazi wanting to finish the final solution’ and on and on and on, when in reality she does a pretty good impression of Hitler – but even more paranoid and delusional.), and such comments have naturally caused condemnation from world leaders. Blair and Bush were quick to point out that the polite way to suggest that a nation should be wiped off the map is by suggesting that a nation needs a ‘regime change’ to ‘Spread freedom’ or ‘Democracy’, and such crassness (or honesty) is symptomatic of such an uncivilised nation. Bush was further upset that a leader dared to contemplate wiping out another nation without the consent or express desire of God - something that Bush got way ahead of his invasions.
Blair had plenty to say, so I have provided a handy translation of what he actually meant; speech courtesy of the BBC.
Blair Speaks: “Their attitude towards Israel, their attitude towards terrorism, their attitude on the nuclear weapons issue - it isn’t acceptable.”
Blair Means: “Their attitude towards Israel’s state terrorism is unacceptable, and their desire to seek their legal right to nuclear energy is unacceptable – they should have folded by now and allowed US and UK troops to enter the country.”
Blair Speaks: “If they continue down this path, then people are going to believe that they are a real threat to our world security and stability.”
Blair Means: “A few more choice phrases from Iranian leaders, and excellent, they’ll save us the trouble of convincing people we need to go to war, again. I love it.”
Blair Speaks: “They may believe… the eyes of the world will be elsewhere, but I felt a real sense of revulsion at those remarks.”
Blair Means: “They won’t ever be allowed to forget these words, we’ll ensure all the worlds eyes are pointed at Iran, preferably staring down the barrel of a gun, I feel a real opportunity has arisen from those remarks.”
Blair Speaks: “Can you imagine a state like that with an attitude like that having a nuclear weapon?”
Blair Means: “Can you imagine a state like that with an attitude like that having a nuclear weapon? (Ignoring of Course, Russia – who feel the same about Chechnya, Britain – who feel the same about most of the world, North Korea – who feel the same about South Korea, and America – who want to wipe out everyone. They don’t count, we’re all kind of friends.)”